Perception is a funny thing. An act or behavior, in and of itself is rarely a positive or negative thing – it all depends on the perception of the receiver. I’m sure you have seen many times that someone will say something and one guy is laughing his head off, while the other guy stabs him with a shrimp fork. Wait… that hasn’t happened to you? Maybe I need new friends *wink*
But, as you see, two people can hear the same conversation and get totally different meanings out of it. I have been thinking a lot lately about the way I talk to myself, which makes me curious enough to listen to how other people talk about themselves. I find it fascinating to discover that most people have kind words for friends, and even complete strangers, but keep none for themselves. I have been guilty of this for most of my life.
Why? I don’t know why we do this. I am sure a lot has to do with the messages we receive (intentionally or unintentionally) growing up, and a lot to do with self esteem. I know when I am feeling down, I can be very cruel indeed to myself…which leads me even further down… more self-loathing… you get the picture. I have caught myself lately before I got too down on myself, but it can be a tricky thing.
How we talk to ourselves can really affect how we see ourselves, and, in turn, how others see us. If I don’t think I am worthy of love or affection or respect – chances are I will find someone who is not capable or willing to give that.
At lunch today, we were talking about food and my sweetie was entering his daily food journal stuff in for the past few days and made a comment about shaming himself into a better eating habit. I have done this to myself MANY times. But, I stopped him. I told him to track his food from a place of loving himself and caring for his body, instead of the negative aspect. It was as much advice for me as it was for him. I have been fighting the battle of the bulge since puberty, and the ONLY times I am really successful are when I treat myself right and when I am in the game for me. Our brains are the most powerful organ in our bodies. We can be 100% physically healthy, but still be in a state of mental distress because we aren’t treating ourselves well.
On my path to Happily Ever After, I want to heal myself from the inside out. I don’t want to simply lose weight, or feel pretty. I want to have a heart so full of love, it might burst. I want to love myself and know that I am capable and worthy of giving and receiving love. I want to treat myself as well as I treat my closest friends, who I would do just about anything for.
I would never talk to a friend the way I have talked to myself. I am actively working on positive self-talk. Sometimes, sister, you have to fake it until you make it. So, princesses (and princes), here is your homework:
-Find 3 positive things you LIKE about yourself.
(Mine: My intelligence, my willingness to help others, and my snark)
Put that shit up everywhere!! I’m talking bathroom mirrors, the fridge, in the car, in your purse or wallet – somewhere you will see this every day. Once you truly believe those things… come up with 3 more.
Because, my friends, our perception creates our reality… for awesome or for evil. How will you use your powers??
I choose AWESOME!