Clearly, I’ve lost my damn mind

A few months ago, my sister-in-law, Brianne, mentioned to me that I should look into a blog she had been following:  The Big Girl Blog.  CeCe, the lady who writes it, considers herself a Plus Size Princess (PSP), and I love that idea.  The idea that we should love ourselves, regardless of our size, because we are WORTH loving.  Brianne told me that she had participated in the PSPfit Cycle 1, which is a fitness movement created by CeCe, and that she loved it!  They worked with a nutritionist and a personal trainer for 30 days of eating clean and training dirty.  She recommended that I join up the next time around.

I thought that sounded pretty good, so I looked into it more.  The program is based in NYC, so I would miss out on some of the live events, but you could do it virtually.  Since I live in Houston, that would be the way I would go.

So, I jumped in.  I was so excited!  This boot camp runs from just before Halloween to Thanksgiving.  What a great way to jump-start the holiday season!

There were two things that stood out to me in the prep book – No smoking and no cheese.  GAH!!!  The two great joys of my life!  I was torn about this, but decided I should really give it a full effort if I wanted to be successful.

So I quit.

I quit smoking AND cheese.  Sadly, cheese has been harder to break than smoking.  It’s currently been 17 days since I quit smoking and I haven’t had a single relapse.  Cheese, however… I had a few relapses.  But have recommitted to that as well.

People keep telling me how crazy it is to try to make so many major life changes all at once.  And I guess it is.  But honestly, I’m not addicted to nicotine.  I have smoked on and off since I was 18 years old (19 years, but I did quit for 5 full years once), but have never been addicted.  My problem was always one of a habit versus an actual addiction.  I was conditioned to smoke at certain times and with certain activities – After waking up, before bed, after a meal, when talking on the phone, etc.  Reconditioning those activities has been the biggest struggle.  I had to find other activities to fill the time.  And I managed to do that, though my hours online during the day has dramatically increased.

And anxiety.  Oh, how smoking calmed my anxiety!  I would always say that it was cheaper to smoke than take anxiety medicine.  But the funny thing is that I am not anxious at all right now.  Weird.  I think I had one day of anxiety in the beginning, but the better I eat and the more I keep my blood sugar in check, the better I feel.

I’m into my third week of the PSPfit program and it is going really well.  I am learning how sensitive my body is to water retention, and also how quickly it is affected by eating poorly.  It isn’t a matter of eating too much, as we are all told.  Remember in my weight loss post a couple of months ago (Weight Loss Advice from a Not-Quite-As-Fat Girl: Part 1 & Part 2), I talk about it isn’t just calories in/calories out, but the quality of those calories that really matters.  I’ve had a few stumbles with clean eating.  A few meals where I have just said “fuck it!” and eaten something I know I shouldn’t.  One night it was fajitas at my favorite Mexican joint (including tortillas and cheese – but NO CHIPS!), a cookie or three at a friend’s house, and another was popcorn at the movies.  And afterward?  I felt like complete and total crap.  Sluggish and sore all over.  I think that I am noticing that I may have an intolerance to gluten.

And what was the outcome of these bad decisions?  That’s right… decisions, not mistakes.  I own choosing to do those things.  I also own paying the consequences.  And the consequence was seeing a FOURTEEN POUND gain on the scale over a 5 day period!!  Y’all, that just doesn’t happen.  That, my friends, is water retention.  I was so puffy my skin felt like it might burst!  And I have lost 60 lbs, so I don’t usually have the tightest skin on the block.

So, this week I am focused on staying 100% on program.  Drinking my lemon water and green smoothies.  Oh, the green smoothies!!  They look just dreadful!  But, before you Ewwww me right off the internet, they actually taste pretty good.  And trust me when I say that green smoothies are pretty much the only way I will get my greens in.  I’m certainly not going to eat them!

green smoothie

So, by exercising and eating right the last two days, and drinking LOTS of water, today I am down 10 of those 14 lbs.  Just hoping I can get the other four off before our weigh in tomorrow!

So follow me as I go through the last two weeks of the boot camp.  This is a lifestyle I plan to continue long after the boot camp ends.  Hopefully I can lose the last 40-70 lbs I want to lose (depending on how I feel when I get there).  I’m not looking to be skinny.  I really just want to look and feel better and have my overall health improve.

OH and one more awesome effect of this program – My blood sugar has completely normalized!  Yes, I am still taking my medication as prescribed (though I have had to play with the times of day that I take it), but I was doing that before this program and it was still all over the board.  For the past two weeks, my fasting blood sugar has been 85 – 105 every day, and for a Type 2 diabetic who saw 512 on her meter a few weeks earlier, that is HUGE!

So, enjoy a couple of photos from my journey.

Starting photos

Starting photos

Roasted chicken breast

Roasted chicken breast

Chicken meatballs

Chicken meatballs

Sweet potato soup

Sweet potato soup

Beef & zucchini skillet - my favorite!

Beef & zucchini skillet – my favorite!

Batch cooking for the week's meals

Batch cooking for the week’s meals

 

All photos are the property of Elizabeth Blessitt Photography.  Steal them and pass them off as your own, and I will drop you in a vat of hot lava.  😀

 

 

About ElizabethBlessitt

Writer. Photographer. Organization Development guru. Rabid Scrapbooker. Partially terrified singer. Getting fit physically and emotionally. Will kick your ass at Jeopardy. Does Sudoku and Crosswords in pen.
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2 Responses to Clearly, I’ve lost my damn mind

  1. Heather Price says:

    Giving up Smoking and Cheese! That shit is funny.

    On a quit smoking note, I remember when I quit smoking I read a book on how to do it, it mentioned a link to smoking and blood sugar. It said for some reason smoking spikes blood sugar (but at the time had no scientific reason, but it was a 30 year old book). And recommended taking 1 sip of OJ when having cravings. It really helped.

    So maybe your mentioning that your anxiety stays down when you control your blood sugar – maybe your cigarettes were contributing to anxiety in the long run.

    • I think you are right, Heather! I have read before that one of the ways to lessen anxiety was to not smoke. It was clearly one of those things I was just telling myself to justify my wanting to smoke. I really didn’t want to quit, but I did it anyway. And now I feel better.

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