It’s the beginning of another year.  And thank God for that!  I don’t know about you, but 2011 was probably the weirdest year to date… for me, anyway.  It was simultaneously the best of times, and the worst of times.  Damn you, Dickens… you always pull this shit on me!  I promise that I will not do a 3 million word recap of the past year, but it went a little something like this:

• Got engaged!!  (Plus)
• Was in the hospital at least once a month for the whole freaking year (Minus)
• Left the crappiest job in the history of forever! (Plus)
• Left a job = ummm… where’s all that money I used to make?? (Minus)
• Got to plan a wedding to my sweetheart (Break even… Tons of fun, but also very stressful and expensive)
• Had a heart attack at the ripe old age of 35.  Oh yeah.  That totally happened. (Massive suck fest)
• Got married to the sweetest guy in the world less than a week after said heart attack in a super fun wedding (Win!)
• Holidays… my favorite time of the year, but without my brother & sister and their families, it was a little sad.

[End Scene]

So, yeah.  Needless to say, I have been too pooped to really do much in the way of writing, which really brings me down.  But, in an attempt to set GOALS, rather than resolutions this year, I have decided to devote more time to writing.  Or bitching via blog… take your pick.  My goal is to post at least once a week, even if I don’t have much to say.  I will at least put up some kick-ass pictures, or a dog in a dress, or something random to make you go, “WTF?”

So back to the obscure Jedi reference – It turns out that all the medical crap I have been dealing with for the past two years has to do with an undiagnosed cardiac condition (Thanks a lot, Dr. Hottie, and Dr. Not-a-Hottie for all your help… jackasses), and not me losing my mind or not being able to cope with life.  I guess it is a good thing to check off “Be invited to a psych hospital for a short visit” on the old bucket list.  Character building, don’t you know.  Anyway, turns out, I had a condition called Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy, or the aptly named “Broken Heart Syndrome”.  Apparently, in Japanese, that is the name for an Octopus Trap, since your heart balloons out weirdly and looks a bit like an Octopus head.  [shrugs]  This can come on after periods of prolonged emotional stress, like the death of a loved one, or the loss of a relationship.  In the past few years, I have had my fair share of stress, for sure.  But, after an extremely expensive medical stay, I was told that the condition is completely treatable via medication.  Score!

7 days after the heart attack, I married the knight in rusty red armor.  After months of planning and re-planning the wedding, we finally settled on a “Mexican restaurant party room” theme, and I think we nailed it!  80 or so of our closest friends and family joined us as we said I do.  The wedding started off very elegantly, with the bride and her party emerging proudly from the men’s room (hey it was twice the size of the ladies’ room – don’t judge me!), to shuffle awkwardly down the make-shift aisle, to our altar… in front of the tiki bar.  Also – beware – When you book a JP online, sometimes they feel they need to make the ceremony funny.  Mostly, it was just awkward.  But, it didn’t matter.  We got to stare lovingly at each other, say the words, and do the deal.  Of all my weddings, this was my favorite.  Ok, so I only had one other one, but when they groom actually wants to be there… it really just makes the day that much more amazing

Also, ladies, if you want to look thinner on your wedding day, take a little tip from me – Have the largest wedding party on the face of the planet!  It totally takes 75 lbs right off you!  Don’t believe me?  Check this out:

I also highly recommend, after pictures, changing into a track suit.  I did.  I guarantee you I was the most envied girl at that party!  Comfy clothes and a veil are totally the way to go.

But, now comes the hard part… Life.

As I already mentioned, I don’t plan to set any resolutions this year.  If I did, I would have already broken them all, and it isn’t even mid-January.  I have set goals, though.  Things that I want to accomplish, and a plan on how to do those very things.  My goals for this year are very simple – Get physically and financially healthy, and work on things that I love.  Those things include my writing, photography, and my marriage.  P and I have decided to start the year off right by getting financially in shape.  Truth be told, I have been saggy in this area for, well, forever.  I don’t really think I was ever taught what to do with money.  If I am being totally honest, money scares the shit out of me.  I usually ignore it, hoping that it will go away – And it does.  But never in a good way.  We are going to take a page out of Dave Ramsey’s book and work on getting financially fit and trim.  Please pray for our souls.

As for the physical part, I am happy to announce that as of 2012, I am down 45 lbs from my heaviest weight.  That is the good news.  The bad news is that it has taken about 5 years to get here.  Stupid weight has always been a struggle for me… ever since that fateful day when Mother Nature came knocking on my door.  Bitch.  The doctor wants me to work on losing at least another 30 before we start a family… so I should be there before I am 50.  But, in all seriousness, having a heart attack at 35 really is an eye opener.  I was fortunate to find out through a Heart Cath (Google it) that I didn’t suffer any permanent damage and have no heart disease or clogged arteries, or anything like that.  I really want to take this year to get those 30 lbs off.  If another 50 want to join them, I won’t complain.  My plan includes those radical ideas of eating healthier and moving more.  I know… I never bought into the hype, but they do seem to actually work.

So, fair readers… if any of you still exist after my many months of silence, I would love to hear your goals for the year… or what kind of dogs in dresses you would like to see… really anything would be super.  Comments are always appreciated, welcomed, encouraged, and sometimes – coerced through bribery.  I’m not above it.  Just sayin…

OH!  I almost forgot… Paul got me this as a stocking stuffer for Christmas:

Again, I am not above bribery, so one lucky reader (aka COMMENTER) may just receive their very own Cuddly Bantha (if you aren’t a Girl Geek, that is the second little guy on the left)!!!  That comment button looks just a little more appealing now, doesn’t it?

*Wedding photography provided by the lovely and talented Claire Kennedy Photography*

PS – I have also been asked to start pod-casting, or video blogging, or something to that effect for both this site and for a new project, where I translate for my dog Lucy, since she doesn’t speak English very well.  Let me know if you are interested in seeing such nonsense.

I would have never counted myself among the super popular kids in school, but I had a lot of friends.  I went to the same schools for 12 years, so throughout the years, I circled around and was friends with nearly everyone at some point.  Still wouldn’t click off “popular” on a survey.  I also grew up knowing that I was a pretty smart cookie, even if I wasn’t in every one of the smarty-pants classes.  But, I got by.  High school wasn’t always the best of times, but  it wasn’t always the worst of times, either (See, Ms. Swalin – I read that book!  At least the first page).  Growing up is tough at the best of times.  Why do things that make it even harder?

Back to my original hackle-raising point: These stupid slogan t-shirts, while meant to look cool, or perhaps help you fit into the “it” crowd are really setting us (women) back.  A lot.  “Oh honey, don’t worry about passing the eighth grade!  You are so pretty you will never need to know how to balance a checkbook!”  And she won’t.  Because no one learns that anymore.

I started this blog, Self Saving Princess, so that women and girls alike could be empowered to stop waiting for the handsome, yet often terribly tardy princes to come and save them.  Slip on a pair of running shoes… shimmy down the drain pipe on some sheets… and get the hell out of there!  Save yourselves!  Half the time the Prince is a dim-wit anyway, and who needs that kind of stress?

I, personally, would rather be empowered to do my homework (aka LEARNING), and have self-confidence rather than prance around in a little bubble of “pretty” that is supposed to get me through the rest of my life!  BTW: The lack of learning leads to brain rot… which invariably offers a fair comparison between your brain and a box of rocks.  PS – The rocks are smarter.  Oops… I guess that was a spoiler alert.

So, my advice is that moms stop BUYING these silly shirts.  I get the value of a snarky slogan t-shirt and my closet is filled with them.  However – Going back to just being a pretty face?  How many years have women struggled with their own civil rights and the right to a harassment free workplace where she could actually become the boss based on her accomplishments and merit?

Here’s a hint to those who want to “pretty” their way to the top – Pretty may land you a job, but you will instantly be seen as incompetent once they realize you can’t DO the job.  The second that happens, you will hit that glass ceiling so fast you will be picking glass out of your frosted tips for the next 18 years.

You rarely see a high school age boy wearing a t-shirt that says “Too Handsome for Homework.”  Why is that?  Because boys are expected to learn as they go, marry the pretty but rock-headed wife, and take all the cool corporate jobs?  I call shenanigans on that mess.  Girls in this country have every freedom freely awarded to boys.  But we have to work harder for the recognition, fight harder for our sports to count, and then we have the dishonor of being paid less that what a man in the same job is paid… all in the name of a man taking care of his family.

I have always been a primary bread-winner for my family.  Both when I was married and supporting my deadbeat frog, and then again when I became a single working woman trying to make it on her own.  Now, I am a self-employed person engaged to another self-employed person – We HAVE to make ends meet.  How could I do that if I let my looks turn me into a totally self-absorbed space cadet??  The answer?  I couldn’t.  I don’t want to sit around and hope that some big, strong, rich man will save me from the tower so I can live happily ever after… staring at my own reflection in some big creepy Disney mirror somewhere.

Being a self saving princess means being smart, and not afraid to SHOW how smart you are.  It means taking pride in yourself and your own abilities, and never letting someone tell you that you are less than.  The prettiest girls I know are the ones who are smart, confident, and sassy.  They are gorgeous inside and out because their value shines like gold on a crisp Spring morning.  They aren’t afraid of a little hard work and understand that is how you get where you want to be.

I will happily prance off my soapbox now and await the multitude of comments from mom’s who are reliving their uncool teen angst years through their tween daughters who will think that I need to get a chill pill and probably some Botox.  Because I have always LONGED for a face that looks both dead and surprised all at the same time *snark*.

So flame on.  I will take intelligent, witty, funny, and sassy over pretty and super popular every. day. of. the. week.

(PS – Ever notice the dude wearing the “Too Kool for Skool” skater t-shirt also works at the gas station?  Strangely enough… he has been working there since YOU were in high school.  Think about it.)

Saturday, I went to go look at a car I found on Craigslist that looked like it might be a good deal.  When we got there, however, the car was a piece of crap.  Covered in dents and scratches, the racing tires gave it away that someone had been drag racing a 2004 Chrysler Sebring.  Stupid.  I decided I was far too lazy to try to sell my car, as I have no intention of dealing with people from Craigslist.  So, we took the car to CarMax to get an estimate.

While I was waiting, I went ahead and test drove a small, affordable car.  Totally not something that I would have ever picked out.  Ever.  But, the price was right and it was a lot newer than anything I could find online.

So, I bought my first new-to-me car, ever.  I am also taking on my first car payment ever, which kind of sucks.  It is a pretty cheap one, though, so I think I will manage.

It’s just strange to do something so grown up. It makes me feel like an actual adult.  An odd feeling, being as I am months away from turning 35.  I always thought there would be a day when I would actually feel like an adult, but that age has always slipped into another position, as I neared it.  I still feel like we sit at the “kids’ table” at Thanksgiving!  I guess to my parents’ generation, we will always be kids.  Even when we are old enough to vote, drink, have kids, and own a crippling mortgage.  I guess since I have never done those last two, I hadn’t crossed the line.

Somehow, the car note has drug the line back to me.  Weird.

So… here she is.  I haven’t known her long enough to give her a name yet.  Suggestions are appreciated via comments:

2008 Chevy Cobalt

I guess I am nervous about how things will go with the car tomorrow.  My dad and P are coming with me to look at the potential new Liz-mobile (to be named later), since I have no idea what I am doing.  I am also nervous about parting with a big wad of cash tomorrow.  I wasn’t anticipating getting a new car so soon, and hoped to have a little more put aside before I did.  Oh well.  My goal is to buy a car outright with no payments, and then trade up in a year or two.

I guess I am really taking the plunge into the world of adulthood, and I forgot to hold my nose.  There is so much to do!  I still need to sell my clunker, but feel bad because it really does need repairs for it to pass inspection.  I just don’t care to spend that much money on a car that still might break down a day or two later.

I did get an invite to a family function tomorrow, so that is something to look forward to.  Also, one of my favorite girlfriends invited me out for a Girls’ night tomorrow night!  I haven’t been out anywhere in forever, so it will be fun!  I just hope I can get the car situation figured out and done with before the events so I can participate.

I should really try to get some sleep, but it still seems to be eluding me.  Maybe I will just exercise instead.  That ought to wear me out!  I do still have a wedding coming up in 4 months… got to get to work on those abs and arms!

I am SUPER far behind in wedding planning, and just now realizing how close November actually is.  We decided to change our wedding venue to save a little money.  We selected the new place yesterday and it is totally fabulous.  Of course, we are keeping it a secret for now.  hehe

Bad news – I went to take my 18-year-old Town Car in to get the inspection done – FAIL.  Sadly, she passed the emissions test with “flying colors” but failed the safety inspection.  Turns out she has some leaks in bad places, so they told me I had 10 days to bring it back and they would re-inspect it for free, after I got the leaks fixed.  I brought it back to them the next day for an estimate (they are right across the street from my apartment, so it seemed logical).  I left it with the guy and went with P down to Clear Lake to look at the new wedding venue and grab some lunch with my mom.  The mechanic called me back to tell me that it was leaking in two places… and between parts and labor, it would only run me $920 to get it repaired.  *cough…choke…sputter*  Holy cow!  The car is 18 years old!  It is only worth about $1400!  No freaking way am I putting that much money into this stupid land yacht.

So, looks like I will have to break down and buy a new (to me) car.  I guess it was inevitable.  I am, after all, nearly 35 years old and have never bought a car.  I have been fortunate to have two cars given to me over the past 18 years.  I drive my cars forever.  The first one for 12 years, and the second over the past 7 years.  It pains me to have to part with the money for another car.  Seriously.  Pains.

Poor Betty Lou (my car).  P suggested I give her a proper Viking funeral, complete with boat and fire.  Somehow I doubt the Coast Guard would be too keen on the idea of my car burning in the bay.  I don’t know why… free light show, right?  But, instead, I will try to sell her to anyone who wants her.  It’s the end of an era.  *Little tear*  I hate dealing with cars.

*Not my actual car*

I guess this is a big part of being a Self Saving Princess.  No one is coming to the rescue, so it is time to put on your big girl panties and figure it out.

Dammit.

Day Zero is usually the day when I put together my carefully thought out grocery list and make all the preparations to have nothing dangerous in the house.  Day Zero is also the day that I shine up my sneakers (so to speak) to get them ready to see some action (or at least the light of day).  Unfortunately, Day Zero has also always been a HUGE binge eating day for me.  Again, trying to get rid of all the crappy (but delicious) food in the house – has to go somewhere, right?  And then I feel terrible and sabotage the new diet’s success before I can even get started.

Fortunately, the only thing “bad” in my cabinets right now is a large box (mostly eaten) of Goldfish crackers.  Oh, and the hidden case of Thin Mints that I spread out throughout the year.  That reminds me… I never ate my May box!  Oh well.  I think I ate two in April.  *shrugs* I’m only human, and they are made of crack.

So, today is the day that I will diligently make the list of the diet friendly foods we love to eat.  We tend to stick to the South Beach Diet (or try to), since I am Diabetic and Dr. Hottie says that is the Bible for Diabetic eating.  I have a whole slew of SB friendly recipes that I like to cook, so I just need to make my list accordingly.  This weekend is also Father’s Day, so I will be cooking a special lunch for my Dad (also Diabetic) that I think he will love!

But unlike most Day Zeros, I will not be binge eating today. I might not be perfect, but I am going to do my best to set myself up for success, rather than failure.

Yesterday, I broke out my new running shoes and went for a walk.  Give me a break – it is already 100 degrees out there!  I also drug P to the swimming pool in our complex where we had a very relaxing afternoon.  I may even go again today to try to get a little color (as much as I can with SPF 50 on hehe).  I am also going to head up to the mall in a little while and do my first walking exercise with interval runs.  Yes, I am going to go running inside the mall… again… it is Texas and already hotter than hell.

Let’s see if a well planned Day Zero can lead to a successful Day One.

Copyright 2011 Elizabeth Blessitt Photography. All Rights Reserved.

*Update – Yes, it has come to my attention that Father’s Day isn’t until NEXT weekend.  Give me a break – I was in and out of the hospital for over a week.  Not to mention, I will take any opportunity to show my Dad that he is awesome.    Love you, Dad!

I am so utterly tired of not knowing why I feel so crummy. I have a pretty good life. I have a sweet fiancé who loves me with everything he has. I am following my dreams and aspiring to live a happier life. But for some reason, this illness keeps coming back about once a month. It is really quite frustrating.

The worst part is that most of the time, I feel perfectly fine. Then, I don’t. And the world stops spinning. At least for me. And for my sweetheart. I feel so bad for him, having to watch me suffer all the time. Even the dog is affected! Poor Lucy refuses to eat when I am not home. She also sits on the back of the couch with her nose stuck out the window waiting for Mommy to come home. Poor sweet Lucy.

And now, because I couldn’t stay healthy, I am going to have to pay for at least one month of COBRA insurance, Please, someone stick a sharp stick in my eye. I have so many better things to spend money on. Like rent… a wedding,,, food… you get the picture.

So that is where I have been hiding for the past week. I am hoping to get out of the hospital (again) today and to be on the mend. Something has got to change. My nutrition, exercise, hell, I have even started doing yoga (which I HATE). Something needs to be different. Starting today, I am on a road to wellness. There may be bumps along the way, but I am in it for the long haul. Please continue to follow along with my journey, and perhaps embark on one of your own. <3

Last night, I couldn’t sleep. I really just wasn’t tired.  So, I decided to stay up and get some work done toward my Friday to do list.  This week has been super busy and productive, and I wanted to keep the streak rolling.  I finally gave in and went to sleep around 3:30 am.  Five minutes later, Miss Lucy decides to jump up into the bed and proceeds to find the most uncomfortable places to sleep.  Grrr.  But, I mostly fall asleep.

And then there is the barking, followed by the banging. Someone is banging on the door like they are on fire.  And I seriously hope they were.  Not only were they banging on the door, but they were ringing the doorbell and banging on the windows as well.  I sent poor Paul to investigate.  They must have heard him coming and ran off.  At the last minute, I remembered to yell not to open the door…  just in case.  It is 5:15 am, at this point.  And I am PISSED.  Not scared, like I thought I would be.  My first thought was, “If I only had a gun…”

Now, I have always avoided guns, fearing that I would shoot off my own toe or something equally stupid.  I do know how to use one.  Last year when I dated Gun Guy, he took me to the shooting range and taught me how to shoot.  I still have my target.  My cop buddies have all told me that every shot on there is a kill shot, so I felt pretty good about that.  But, maybe it is time I embraced my true roots as a Texan.

Here’s the kicker – The guy that lives upstairs from us is the cop who also doubles as the apartment’s courtesy officer.  I heard his dog go off too. Would have been nice for him to get the hell out of bed and see what the ruckus was all about.

And I hate feeling like this.  Now, I don’t want to open the door.  Ever.  But, I don’t want to be in my home, either.  People really just don’t know how their behavior affects other people.  Or that they are assholes.  Seriously.  Assholes.

So, now I am awake.  And pissed.  And there is no likelihood of going back to sleep.  Must mean it is time to work off some of the aggression.  Go Turbo Jam!

What has you irritated this week?

This was apparently not in my cards this morning.  I did the laying-around-until-hungry part.  But as we were getting dressed for the lunch-with-sweetie part, I made the mistake of, you guessed it, walking harmlessly across the living room floor.

Apparently, this jaunt on the wild side was just a little too much for my body to handle.  I got an intense shooting pain in my lower back, on the left side.  Like searing, cramping, horrible pain.  Sell-your-own-mother-for-a-Vicodin kind of pain.  As I howled in agony, P yelled for the dog to stop scratching me, as this is usually the source of my pain.  But, as I started swearing like a drunken sailor, I think he realized it was a little different.

My back was out.  Dammit!

We did the lunch part, but as I shuffled along like a little old lady, I realized that standing around at a BBQ probably wasn’t in the cards for me.  Shit.  I hate to miss a BBQ.  I’m a Texan, after all.  If there’s one thing we love, it’s BBQ.  And guns.  But mostly BBQ.

So, instead of a fun BBQ with P’s opera buddies, I was laid up on the couch watching movies with the dog.  A Twilight marathon on Blu-Ray, actually.  Because vampires are better than rapture and zombies.  Good times.  Not.  Pffffft to my stupid back.

It is starting to loosen up a little now, so hopefully it will regain its former glory by tomorrow.  Or at least by Monday.  [sigh]

Thank God for delivery pizza.  Oh, and for that lack of rapture business.  Though I was looking forward to my debt being wiped out.  Oh well.

I hope you have all had a fantastic week, but if not… you have come to the right place.

Probably my biggest gripe from the last week came into play the other day when I was helping my sister clean her house to get it ready to go on the market.  She had a friend over helping her work in the yard.  I love this girl like another sister, but unfortunately she had to bring her two youngest kiddos with her.  The problem is that it is REALLY hard to do yard work with a 15 month old and a 3-year-old in tow.

I have this problem a lot – Being a person who has no kids, and being naturally good with kids, I somehow become the unofficial babysitter.  And this sweet little girl spent 2 hours screaming her head off.  Well, not the whole 2 hours.  She was fine until someone else would pass through the room.  Then you would think someone was beating her to death.

Now, I have a high tolerance for kids, but I was at my limit.  Finally, her mom came back inside and she was just happy as a lark.  Both my brother-in-law and I were a little (read: a lot) twitchy.  I have never been so happy to get the hell out of somewhere as I was that night.  Too bad I don’t drink!

So, that was my big bitch for the week.  Whatcha got?