It’s time for a facelift and a change!

Hey there! What… you’re still here? I know, I know… it has been forever since I have taken to the blog. I have been crazy busy working on my podcast, Nerdy Bitches Podcast, and we just hit our 100th episode LIVE at Comicpalooza 2018! Crazy!!

I have decided to take this website in a different direction, so that will require me to do some updating to the site itself and to some of the content. Good news is that there will be MORE content coming than just my own person rambling, so stay tuned!!

In the meantime, you can keep up with me on Twitter @SelfSavPrincess, or follow the podcast @NerdyBitchesPod.

See you soon!

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The Original Self Saving Princess

In May 1977, my parents decided to go to the movies to see what was playing. They didn’t have a babysitter, so they decided to bite the bullet and take their adorable nine-month old baby with them (that’s me). They arrived at a theater with no lines and checked what was playing. My dad, being a sci-fi nerd, decided on some new movie called Star Wars, which I am sure elicited an eye roll from my mother. I was there on opening day. Of course, I don’t remember any of it, because baby, but it became a huge part of my life.

Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia

Throughout my young life, I watched Star Wars over and over again. Everyone was obsessed with young Luke coming into his own as a budding Jedi, or Han Solo being a space-pirate badass. Not me. I was obsessed with Princess Leia. Growing up in the world of Disney princesses who had to be rescued by some bumbling prince (and yes, they did pull her out of the Death Star before blowing it up), it was amazing to see that THIS princess was beautiful and brave and could take charge and kick some serious ass. She went up against the bad guys as an equal, not a damsel. If you read everything Star Wars, like this giant nerd, you will also know that long before her introduction in cell 2187, Princess Leia Organa was also a member of the Galactic Senate, next to her adopted father, Bail Organa. She fought for justice from a young age because it was the right thing to do. She was a hero, even without a blaster or a lightsaber.

As life moved on, Leia got stronger and learned more about herself, the galaxy, and even the Force. She was someone little girls could look up to and emulate. As Star Wars luster faded slightly, Carrie Fisher carried on. She started writing and acting in other things and was amazing beyond that one role.

Her public struggles with bipolar disorder and substance abuse taught us many things. One of those things is to keep going. Shit gets bad for all of us, and not everyone copes well. But she stayed open about those struggles, and in doing so, opened the doors to a lot of people to discuss their own personal demons and to de-stigmatize mental illness. Her books and comedy shows are raw, open, and honest. There is a line from “Wishful Drinking” that says, “If my life wasn’t funny, it would just be true. And THAT is unacceptable.” I have used this as my personal mantra for years because if you only focus on the bad part, you can never move on. It inspired me to write about my own battles with health issues, depression and anxiety, and an incredibly destructive marriage that could have completely destroyed me. But time passes and you go to the funny side. Once you do that, it no longer has the power to hurt you.

A few days ago, it came across my Facebook feed that Carrie Fisher had suffered a major heart attack on an airplane. She was in critical condition with her daughter and her dog Gary by her side. I was strickened by this, but also laughed that Gary Fisher was allowed to be with his mommy. I also got a little pissed that my dogs were not allowed to stand vigil over me when I had my own heart attack back in 2011. Celebrity, I guess? I had hope, though. Hope that 2016 would stop its nasty ways and leave our favorite princess alone. I don’t know who appointed the Grim Reaper the boss of 2016, but that motherfucker has been cleaning some serious house this year. We have already lost so many! How could we possibly lose this precious light in a galaxy of darkness.

Yesterday, I spent some time creating. I have had a really rough holiday season and even missed all of Christmas Eve and most of Christmas Day in the hospital. I needed a day to myself to relax and do something that I enjoy. I picked up my Star Wars cross-stitch project that I started months ago, but haven’t had the time or energy to work on since. I was laughing at the figures as they appeared on my fabric, even making a fairly entertaining incest joke on my Instagram and our podcast Twitter. I went to bed feeling satisfied at the work I had accomplished (even after taking my last hoarded sleeping pill to FINALLY get to bed).

Then came the nudge. As my eyes slowly opened and I blinked the coma out of my brain, I saw the face of my husband. It was grim. “Carrie Fisher died,” he said to me. “I didn’t want you to see it on Facebook first.” At first, I just sat there, staring at him. Surely, it couldn’t be! Then, as the words registered, the tears started to flow. Honest truth – I have had family members die and I didn’t cry (full disclosure – I didn’t really like some of them). It usually takes me a few minutes to really process and get upset. But these tear fell like rain. My chest felt ripped apart and I felt a piece of my soul cry out. Then, I thought about Gary. Not about Billie, or Debbie… but for poor Gary Fisher. That dog will never understand why his mommy is gone. There is no explaining death to a dog. And I cried and cried.

I started this Self Saving Princess blog years ago with it being an outlet for me and others to realize that they COULD save themselves. They didn’t have to wait for someone else to decide their fate for them. It wasn’t Princess Peach or Rapunzel that gave me the idea. It was Leia. Princess Leia Organa. Senator Leia Organa. GENERAL LEIA FUCKING ORGANA. She started it all. She is now one with the Force.

For those of you thinking I cry over every celebrity passing, I will tell you know that THREE have hit me so hard that I was nearly inconsolable:

  • Sally Ride, whom I actually met as a child and had a conversation with. She taught me that girls could do ANYTHING and to never let anyone tell you otherwise. She also got a huge kick out of a six year old telling her that her uncle named his dog after her.
  • Robin Williams, who I never met, but loved in literally everything and every way. He was the brightest light in our universe and shit has gone downhill ever since.
  • Carrie Fisher, actress, princess, writer, comedian, and one real woman who changed the world.

Rest in Peace, Carrie. It’s been a bumpy ride and I am soothed to know that you will have some peace at last. I will never forget you. And someone please take care of Gary.

Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is.” – Yoda

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Can Someone Hold This Ice Pick For a While??

I have suffered from mild to severe anxiety for as long as I can remember, and even before I knew what anxiety even was. I have a family history of anxiety. I remember several times as a teenager driving my dad, who looked like he was having a heart attack, to the Emergency Room and then him refusing to get out of the car, hoping he would calm down and things would get better and we could just leave. I remember watching his chest intently, waiting for any sign that he had stopped breathing. It scared me to death.


I was diagnosed around age 3 with asthma. I may have been older or younger, but that is the age that sticks out. I know at one point, I was taken to the ER for either severe asthma or an allergy attack. I was little. I don’t remember too much. I always had an asthma inhaler (or two) with me my entire life. And it usually did the trick. But not always. There were times when I would suck on that inhaler all day and never get any relief. And those days were terrifying.

As I got older, the asthma was still there, but it gave way to worse things. Migraines, to be specific. Around the time I was 10, I was taking a test and all of the words disappeared off my test paper. Sounds like a kid lie, right? No. It really happened. I could see words in my peripheral vision, but everything in the middle was white as a ghost. There was no other pain or symptom associated, and after being allowed to lay in the dark in the nurses office for a while, things were fine. It was scary, but I was a kid and wrote it off pretty quickly. As I moved into my teen years, the visual problems came and went, sometimes lack of focus vision, sometimes lack of peripheral vision, sometimes one eye would go out all together. But I could usually lay down and take a nap and when I would wake up, it was better. And then—pain. Pain like you couldn’t believe started to accompany these vision issues. And it finally clicked that I was having migraines. This went on for a few years, with the worst of it being an entire month of migraines. After that, they stopped for a while.

AnxietyThat’s when I started getting nauseated. All the time. Eating. Not eating. Thinking about eating. Trying to NOT think about eating. It didn’t really matter. You have all read about my story and 10+ years to get my diagnosis of gastroparesis, so I won’t slog through all the details. But this is also around the time that I started getting what I would consider to be “true” anxiety. Or, at least what I had always heard anxiety felt like. The butterflies, the feeling of the roller coaster about to drop, rapid heartbeat, flop sweat… you name it. At some point I figured it out – I have ALWAYS had anxiety. I told this to my mom and she thought I was insane. But, my theory is that anxiety attacks your weakest system, whatever that may be. And it is different for every person, which is why it can be SO hard to diagnose. I have had more than one doctor/nurse look down at me in disbelief as I lay calmly on the gurney, “You don’t LOOK anxious to me.” Seriously? I have told them all the same thing: “It’s a mask. If you saw what I looked like inside, you would have me in a straight jacket.” Do they seriously expect every person who suffers from anxiety to go running down the hall naked with a plant on their head?? How would we keep out jobs to afford these snot-faced doctors??

Well, yesterday, I had a meltdown. I was in a VERY dark place emotionally, but that shit comes with the territory. I can DEAL with emotional pain very well. I can write. I can shut myself into a dark hole and wallow. I can color. I can scream. These are all things I can handle. What I had yesterday was P-A-I-N. For me, anxiety is like someone stabbed me in ice pickthe chest with an ice pick and then told me not to mess with it. It is there all the time. Sometimes, I don’t even realize it is there because it has become part of me. Other things (going out of the house, far off things that I am worried about it) tickle it slightly and get my awareness up again. And other times, someone grabs hold of the handle and twirls the ice pick around in my chest until it feels like ground meat. That was yesterday. Straightforward chest stabbing pain. All. Fucking. Day.

I screamed. I cried. I rolled around. I took at least a dozen hot baths. I tried deep breathing (which is pretty fucking impossible when you have an ice pick sticking out of your chest). I was going to write, but literally could not force myself to even pick up a pen or touch my computer. I reached out to the world of Facebook and found that they were incredibly kind and loving. That made me weep. Because as beautiful as it was…I was still in horrible pain. I doped myself into a nap (legally, but probably just about the line) and thought, “If I don’t feel better when I wake up…I am going back to the hospital.” (I had JUST been released from the hospital the previous afternoon). And then I woke up. Paul and I looked into each other’s eyes – his sorrowful and full of concern, mine probably looking a bit rabid – and we both said, “Let’s go.”

Anxiety may always be a part of me. It could be the creative part of me that allows me to come up with all sorts of crazy shit. I don’t want to lose that. Anxiety may be the part of me that allows me to love so fiercely that it literally hurts to see my loved ones in pain. I don’t want to lose that. But, if someone could hold this ice pick for a while, or at least keep it really steady, that would be pretty fucking sweet. I could use a break.

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Naked, Afraid, and Soon-to-be Utterly Alone

Ok, I’m not literally naked, because my dad lives with us and that is completely horrifying, but I am exposing my soul completely in the upcoming series of blog posts. As you know if you have ever met me or read any of my writing, I suffer from fairly extreme clinical anxiety. I have been able to find some coping skills (some good, some bad) to get through the day when it hits me hard. At extreme times, my sweet husband drags me out the door to the emergency room for a “hard reset,” if you will. My anxiety and stomach disease, which I have discussed in the past (gastroparesis) are tired closely together, so when one flairs up, so does the other. I have been blessed with close friends and a few family members who really get me and make life easier when something comes up. Mostly though, I am greatly understood by most people, including some friends and family members. Sometimes, they make me feel like I am less than because I cannot get my shit under control and fake my way through life like other people (like them). But honestly, I have been dealing with a lot of this in different iterations for the past 39 years, and “just thinking happy thoughts” isn’t and never has done shit for me.

So, I am soul-stripped and ready to bear it all in order to get this crap out of my head. This probably means that I will lose friends, family, and readers, but as my husband said to me today, “If you lose them over this, THEY need to reevaluate how they love you.” So here we go.

© 2014 Elizabeth Blessitt Photography

© 2014 Elizabeth Blessitt Photography

People ask me all the time what is making me anxious. I usually stare at them like they have mental problems and say, “If I knew that, I wouldn’t be anxious [dummy].” I am not afraid of being attacked in a Target bathroom by a transgender individual, who, like me, just needs to pee before they have to wander through said Target with wet pants looking for new pants. In my life living in Houston, I have encountered many trans folks in bathrooms, and have NEVER once been afraid. In most cases, I am more curious about their rocking shade of lipstick. I have never been afraid of walking through a parking lot or store at 3 a.m. That could be stupid, but I don’t feel that I present myself as a victim or an easy target. I’m also overweight, and that somehow doesn’t seem to be a target population for random violence (I apologize to anyone who has found this to be the opposite – this is my own person belief and how I carry myself).

My own fears and anxieties fall into two categories: Irrational (but no less scary) and rational. Here are some examples that I will be working through.

Irrational fears:

  • Bugs. Specifically cockroaches flying at my head. I know they cannot hurt me, but if one flies at me, I may be tempted to burn down the house.
  • Birds. I had one of those fuckers fly at and hit me in the back of the head once, so now I am terrified of them. If you have one in your house, I complete appreciate your right to own one… just don’t ask me to hold it or expect me to stay in your house if it is flying loose.
  • Loneliness in a large group of people. How can you be alone with other people? But I still feel that way and have for as long as I can remember.
  • Being “outed” as a fake/failure. This one has plagued my professional career. I know intellectually that I am well-educated and very good at what I do, but there is always the fear that someone will show up and out me for the faker who doesn’t know what they are doing.

Rational fears:

  • Homelessness. After a marriage where my ex chose not to work for a long period, this became a very real fear that still sticks with me today. I know in my heart that I have too many people who love me too much to see that happen, but it still sticks and makes me a bit of a miser when it comes to spending money.
  • Another heart attack. In 2011, after months and months of not being able to figure out my health issues, I had a stress-induced heart attack. This is not something that I want to happen again, but less for myself, and more for my family and especially my nieces.
  • My own ability to fuck shit up. The last year has been better for me since finding Plexus, but my own Type-A yet lazy personality has caused a lot of feelings of worthlessness and lost opportunity.

But today, I realized that I have another anxiety. I didn’t recognize it until Paul sent me this humorous like from my favorite game company:  If you are too lazy to click the link, and believe me, I get that, it’s a “bug-out” bag for when Donald Trump becomes President. Now, I have said time and time again that I am NOT political. I grew up in a family of republicans, so when I was old enough to vote, I followed suit, as you do. But, as I got older, I realized that I didn’t match up with many of their ideals. My favorite uncle, who has since passed leaving a huge hole in our family and my own heart, was our one democrat. He was a fierce democrat and was constantly at odds with others. I loved talking with him. He seemed to really think about the good of others and I loved that about him. I do not consider myself a Republican or a Democrat. I created my own party years ago called Zero Politico, the true political majority – the party of apathy. We have seen too many promises made and broken on each side. I stay away from all discussions of politics and religion because I am old enough to know that I am not going to change them and they aren’t going to change me. So, I just don’t fall into these conversations. But, I know one thing. Something that keeps me awake at night. Something that I didn’t realize until today – Donald Trump terrifies me.

This is a person, who has largely been seen as a joke among Americans for decades, is now a serious candidate for the President of the United States. When he first announced his candidacy, I assumed he was the red herring – taking focus away from other candidates the party was trying to slip through. He has been a reality star and a comedic cameo of himself on TV and movies for years…but no one took him seriously! How exactly did this happen? I am even seeing serious republican friends blaming their own party with this same question. This man, who has done nothing but be combative, treating women like non-people, threatening to put people into INTERNMENT camps to ensure their safety to our country… does any of this sound familiar??

Please do not think that this makes me either a Hillary or Bernie supporter. I really have zero opinion on either. I like Bernie, but he reminds me of that guy with the crazy hair in every doomsday movie with all the answers, but who clumsily drops all of his papers and trips over his own tie, and is therefore hard to take seriously. Hillary – I think her biggest mistake, at least in my mind, is sticking with Bill after all of his transgressions. She is smart and serious about this country. But, she isn’t particularly likable. I think this is her biggest downfall. This is what makes a Trump v Clinton election terrifying. I don’t know what this means for the future of our country. A country that I love SO MUCH that I cannot hear any patriotic song without bursting into tears – big ugly cry. I love my own state of Texas, though I do not agree with our current powers that be. But I have NEVER seriously considered living anywhere else. Until now.

All great countries (or once great countries) who fall into disarray started with a bad government and citizens not standing up to these governments, or looking the other way, thinking, “Oh, it will only be [insert term limit here].” And then things go terribly wrong. This is not my bid to be anti-Trump. All I am saying is that for me, this has become a VERY strong cause of anxiety. I cannot see his face on TV or social media without immediately moving on. I am afraid of what this will mean for me personally as a woman, as someone who doesn’t make a lot of money, and as someone who was completely un-insurable before the Affordable Care Act. You can egotistically trash it all you want, but all that says to me is that you have never had to live life without medical insurance. Remember that heart attack I had in 2011? Yeah, no insurance. $80,000 for that one trip, which I will never be able to pay (add that to the list of anxiety). And my husband? Also un-insurable. For the past few years, we have been able to get affordable healthcare, allowing us to take care of our chronic illnesses (made worse by years of not having insurance) and to keep up with preventative check-ups. We are healthier than we were in the past, and we thank the ACA for this. Trump scares me. He has no experience in politics and openly flips on his own opinions. He also talks about his own daughter like a sex object, which makes me want to vomit (more than usual).

This post is not meant to change anyone’s mind about their candidate of choice. It is strictly for me to finally give a voice to the anxieties that have been rumbling around in my head without even knowing it. I will be writing more in the coming days/weeks about other anxieties to clear my own mind, but also hopefully to give voices to others who may not be as open or comfortable to voice their opinions without fear of retribution. My own family will not be happy, I am sure, since I do not fall into the norm. But, I cannot hang on to love where that love hangs on such a precarious knife blade.

And, as was my goal, I feel better getting this off my chest.


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Thankful and stuff

Alright, so somehow, November has snuck up on me again. I say it every year, but time is flying by at warp speed, and it drives me a little nuts. September punched me in the throat a bit, when I remembered that this is the year I turned 39. That’s not ok. When did that happen? I am still 35 in my brain.

But, it is now November – the month when people stuff themselves with foods they wouldn’t touch during the entire rest of a year, men refuse to shave and grow ugly beards to raise money (or because they are just too fucking lazy to shave and don’t bother to try to raise money), and the Facebook thankful posts start. I fully disclose that I have attempted to do the 30 days of thankfulness over the past few years, but I always end up losing track, running out of things to say, and fading into obscurity. This year, I am not even going to try to come up with something new every single day.


I really believe that it is much more important to be thankful and show gratitude all year long, and I really do try to do that as much as possible. I try to tell the people I care about how much they mean to me, not just one day, but all the time. I choose to do this in both words and actions. But, in the spirit of Novemberness, I will now list 30 things that I am thankful for (in no particular order but how they fall into my brain), and get this business over with.

  1. My health (such as it is) – It hasn’t always been the best, but I am still here to annoy and delight the world, so I guess that is something.
  2. My amazing husband – November is a special month for us. It is when Paul proposed to me five years ago, and it is when we were married four years ago. Paul changed the way I looked at love and relationships, and taught me that love shouldn’t be hard. It should be as easy as breathing… and it is.
  3. My parents – While my parents parted ways many moons ago (and thank God for that), they are amazing to me and still hang around each other for the sake of their middle aged children. I love that my parents (mostly) accept me for who I am and don’t let the fact that I say what most people keep to themselves – a lot. I am also thankful than neither of them know how to use Twitter, so I have a place to keep all of my truly awful things, because I still want presents love.
  4. My siblings – I am so incredibly glad that my brother and sister aren’t total shitheads, like so many others that I see. We fought a lot as kids, but I seriously cannot even remember the last time I had even a disagreement with either of them. High school? I love that when we get together, we can still act like total dorks and have a great time. I wish my brother lived closer so that we could hang out more, but I am truly grateful for the time I do get. I also love that my sister lives close and allows me to be so involved with my nieces.
  5. NIECES!!! – It’s no secret that my sport of choice is competitive aunting. It isn’t that I want to be better than my nieces other aunts… I just want to be their favorite! 😉 I don’t currently have any children of my own, so I can play aunt like a rock star, and the girls love it! I have three nieces by blood/marriage – Madison (8), Natalia (7 in a few weeks), and Olivia (1 week), and a slew of nieces/nephews that I love on who are not actually related (kids of close friends – I don’t just start hugging random kids on the street). I adore being part of their lives and seeing their eyes light up when I come over. It’s a special kind of bond, and I will always treasure it. [My brother and his wife are expecting their first child in a few months, and we don’t yet know if it will be a boy or a girl. So, I will put “Ziggy” in this category too, until I know if he/she is a he or a she.]
  6. Dogs – Mine. Yours. Dogs in a shelter. Dogs on Instagram. Cute puppies doing cuter things. I love them all. My dogs have always been so special and I have loved them all to pieces. Even when I wanted to strangle them (my dogs are also punks) – like now, when Daphne and Lucy are chasing each other through the house and the tiny one humps the big one, I still love them. They bring smiles and noise when the house is too quiet.
  7. In-laws – I am incredibly fortunate to have some amazing in-laws in my life. I have wonderful parents in Kathy and Paul, and my sisters-in-law (both real and assumed), Magdalena, Brianne, and Medbh are fantastic. I only grew up with one sister, so having these girls in my life is just pure awesome. I love you all! I also managed to get a couple of extra brothers in Javier, Fred, and Phillip. I love having a great family.
  8. Family – In addition to my immediate family and in-laws, I have a huge extended family, whom I love greatly. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Kids of Cousins, Cousins by Marriage… you name it. They are cool.
  9. Books – Seems like a strange thing to be thankful for, but I am pretty sure if you left me alone on an island with my iPad full of books and music, I could stay happy forever. I love to read. I am always floored when people tell me they don’t read. It seriously does not compute. I finished two books in two days this week. I have read 20 of the 25 I challenged myself to read this year. I have two more in the queue, and will need three more after that, at minimum. If you have any suggestions, please leave them in the comments.
  10. Music – Along with books, music is my life. I have always loved it, and always will. I have been singing all my life, and managed to find an opera singer to spend the rest of my life with. We don’t necessarily run in the same musical circles, but we do have that bond. Music can bring you out of a bad day, make you contemplate, and bring you right back to something powerfully sad. It’s powerful and beautiful, and I couldn’t imagine life without it.
  11. Nerdy Bitches! – I am super grateful to my friend Heather for asking me to podcast with her. She approached me three years ago saying, “Hey! I have an idea that will be a lot of hard work, will make us zero money, but will be a ton of fun! Are you in??” Hell yeah I am! Who can resist a tag line like that! We have been recording our podcasts for the last year, and I still have a blast every time. I hope it goes on forever. Thank you, Heather! And, of course, thank you to Producer Craig for doing all of the hard stuff so that we can just talk.
  12. Friends – I am super thankful to have made so many awesome friends in unexpected places! I grew up feeling a bit invisible. It still amazes me when someone knows who I am, or remembers me when I never would have thought they would have known my name. So many of these wonderful people have reached out and established friendships, when I probably never would have (you know, for fear that they wouldn’t remember me).
  13. Humor – I am grateful that the universe saw fit to provide me with a sense of humor, and the people around me who appreciate it, without thinking I’m a total nutcase. I mean I AM a total nutcase, but it is nice to be able to speak my mind or say what I think without too many people judging me. I have definitely rubbed people the wrong way, but that is really their problem, not mine. I am thankful for those who see me for who I am, and who do not have giant sticks up their butts.
  14. The Internets – It may sound shallow to include the Web in a list of thankfulness, but without it, people like me would still be lost in obscurity. It gives me an outlet to say whatever I want, and there is more connection than shunning, at least in my little corner of it. Social media has changed so much about how we live and work with other people, and it has opened worlds of new opportunities for everyone. Plus, I like buying web domains and creating things that did not exist before.
  15. Restaurants that deliver – Admittedly, I am a bit of a recluse when it comes to getting out in the land of the living. If I could spend all my life on the couch binge watching Netflix, writing, reading, and playing with dogs, I would be a happy girl! But, we do have to eat. I love cooking, but that also requires grocery shopping, which I try to avoid like the plague (thankful also for my husband and dad who don’t mind doing the shopping). So, enter the delivery driver! Since we moved at the beginning of the year, we managed to find at least one place close by that delivers, and the food is tasty, so I am happy to let them bring it to my door.

[I need to point out that I am already losing interest in completing this list, so it would not have made it to the end of the month. Again. It may not make it to the end of this post!]

Numbers 16 – 30: Blah blah blah… things that will come to me later.

In conclusion, be thankful all the time. Stop shaming people when they can’t think of anything else to say. Also, go write that novel. This is also the month for writing books. Clearly something that cannot be done at any other point in the year.


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Holy Space Balls, Batman!!

I have some crazy talented friends in my circle of influence. One of those, my dear friend Ofelia, has been helping out designing some t-shirt ideas for my podcast, Nerdy Bitches (available on iTunes, if you have been living under a rock, or at The first one she created for us was this awesome little gem, playing off of literal nerdy bitches (and incorporating our favorite bitches, Daphne, Lucy, and Gertrude).


After that, I asked her to try out a nerdy, stylized photo of myself in Star Wars, and Heather in Harry Potter. Well, Heather’s isn’t completed just yet, BUT here is mine:

Elizabeth - Star Wars

*SQUEEEEE* SO excited! Thank you so much, Ofelia! You are a talented artist, as well as an amazing opera singer and I am so glad to call you my friend!

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90 Days of Plexus

UPDATE: I weighed and measured this morning, and have lost 7 lbs and 7 inches in the past month! Woohoo!!

Alright, so a couple of new developments since my last post. The biggest and most exciting for me is that I am currently on Day 4 with zero cigarettes! My last two posts included my drastic reduction in the number, without trying to quit, but today I can say that I have been completely smoke free since late Friday night (this also means no patches, no vaping, and no gum – completely cold turkey). I still didn’t try to quit, which is always the hardest part. I simply ran out and decided not to go buy another pack. I just haven’t felt compelled to go buy one. I count that as a MASSIVE win and attribute that 100% to Plexus. I have quit in the past, but never this easily. I will continue to update as time goes by.

Elizabeth - SilverSo, this month was also exciting because I was promoted to a Silver Ambassador, just for sharing the products that are working for me with a couple of friends who also decided to get their health in check. I don’t sell anything – I am a terrible sales person. I just talk about what it has done for me in all of my medical freak-ness. By doing this, I actually earned enough money this month to cover my car payment and my monthly products! I was not expecting that at all!

Some other benefits I have seen:

  • I’ve lost about 7 lbs. I haven’t done my measurements yet because I had to go to a meeting this morning, but I will do them tomorrow with my sister (because it is much easier to have someone else measure you!!).
  • The redness and flakiness on my face is gone completely. This is huge because I have had this as a daily annoyance for the past 11 years. I noticed it clearing up after three weeks on the products, but I can safely say after three months, it is gone.
  • More stable blood sugar numbers – For years, my sugars have been all over the place, even with taking medication daily. Now, they are pretty consistent. They aren’t perfect, but they are consistently closer to where they need to be. I am looking forward to seeing what my A1C looks like in a few more months now that I have a baseline to work from.
  • Down from 20+ days of high anxiety to maybe 4-5. This is a HUGE deal for me. Now, I really am only getting anxious a few days before my period starts, and I believe that is closely tied to my hormones.
  • And let’s talk hormones – I have PCOS and PMDD and usually have a completely miserable time throughout the second half of my monthly cycle – Since starting these products, I have had zero signs of PMS (other than the higher-than-normal anxiety) – No more cramps that make you want to die – No more feeling like a total bitch all the time.
  • I am still able to be out of the house much more often than in the past. My social anxiety has died down greatly and I have stepped outside my comfort zones a few times in the past three months and attended events that I would have completely skipped back in May. It is nice to not always feel like a recluse.
  • No more sciatic issues!! I think I mentioned this in my 60 day post, but the fact that this is still a thing blows my freaking mind. I have had back pain since my early 20s, and some days I was completely incapacitated by it. My husband and I have even discussed the possibility of getting a walker to help me get rolling in the morning until my back catches up. Now, I can hop our of bed in the morning and skip off to the bathroom without having to pause, moan, or cry in pain.
  • My fingernails are growing twice as fast as normal. This may sound like an awesome thing, and it is – except now I have to trim them twice as often! I have always had good nails that were long and strong. They are still that way, only growing faster! The same with my hair – it is much better, less frizzy, and I am losing less of it in the shower when I wash it. That X-Factor vitamin is the real deal!!
  • I hate admitting this, but I have had a funky toenail for the past 20 years. I have been to multiple doctors and specialists trying to get rid of it. I have taken multiple prescription medications, but none have ever worked. After three months on the products (most especially the ProBio5), my toenail is actually starting to look like the rest of them! It isn’t 100% yet, but it is drastically improved and way better than any results (or lack of them) from prescription medications.

I could go on and on, but I won’t bore anyone with all of the minute details. It’s funny, because when I started reading testimonials on these products back in May, I thought everyone posting was full of it. There isn’t any way that anything could work this well or this quickly!! They must have all been ambassadors looking to sell something. But folks, they really do work that quickly and that well!! I find myself talking about it all the time because I seriously can’t believe it! My sister and I are working this together because we both know so many people who could benefit from these products, if they just give them a chance.

That is my 90 day testimony. I am happier and healthier than I have been in years, all because I took a chance and stepped out of my comfort zone. If 90 days to better health could make a difference in your life, e-mail me at for more information. If you already know someone selling Plexus, please go through them. If you don’t, I am more than happy to tell you all of the awesome things that it has done for me and help you figure out a plan to get your health back in shape!

(If you are interested in knowing, I am currently taking Slim, ProBio5, BioCleanse, and X-factor on a daily basis. I also use the Fast Relief (Ease) pills, cream, and nerve health support on occasion. The body cream also rocks my socks! This month, I am planning to add the recently re-released MegaX, which is an Omega supplement that is plant-based, so no fishy burps!! This is to address my horrible triglyceride levels. I have been on cholesterol medication for years and have never had good numbers. Genetics will bite you in the ass if you let it. I am hoping that the MegaX can help.

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60 Days of Plexus – An Update

My Plexus Products IG

Alright, so last month I posted about my first month taking Plexus products to help improve my terrible health. Yesterday marked the end of my second month on the products, so I wanted to share how things have been going!

  • Sleeping like a freaking rock at night – I don’t even hear the dog crying to get out in the mornings anymore! Of course, that means my sweet hubby has to get up with her… 😉
  • While the number on the scale has not moved much at all, I am back to what I think is my base healthy weight. I have been so sick for so long that my metabolism had shut down completely, keeping me at a much lower number than I should have been and feeling like ass all the time.
  • BUT – I did lose two full inches in my belly (my biggest problem area!) in the past two months. I noticed the other day that the new, smaller shorts I bought at the beginning of June fit a lot better and weren’t nearly as tight as when I first started wearing them. Or as short – that extra belly bulk made them ride a little higher than I would have liked! Now, I can wear them in front of other humans without feeling self-conscious!
  • Blood sugars have stabilized – They aren’t perfect, but I am no longer having massive spikes and dips in my daily sugars.
  • I have pretty much lost my cravings for sugary treats (my go-to comfort food when stressed). My brain will still tell me that I want sugar, but now one small piece of sugar or sip of soda will quell the craving and my mind moves on. I have, instead, enjoyed much healthier treats like organic yogurt with crushed walnuts as an evening snack.
  • Fewer hospital trips than the previous few months. Yes, I have still had a couple of trips, but they haven’t been as long or severe. I am still working on my anxiety, but it is WORLDS better than it was, even a month ago. I am so happy that I am able to better deal with my anxiety and depression. I am not taking my anxiety meds twice a day anymore… I only take it when I need it (which isn’t often).
  • I am now off my blood pressure medication completely! After the first month, my pressure while on meds and Plexus was LOW, so the doctor told me to cut my Lisinopril in half. This month, I have been off it completely and haven’t had many issues with blood pressure at all.
  •  My skin (eczema and flaking) has cleared up. When I was 27, my skin changed from oily to super dry. I have been fighting redness and flaking for 11 years. All of that changed within three weeks of starting my Plexus products.
  • NO MORE SCIATIC PAIN!!! This was something that was damn near crippling me every morning to the point where I was seriously considering getting a walker to get from the bed to the bathroom in the morning until my back would support itself, which is awful considering I am only 38 years old, not 112! The funny thing is that I didn’t even notice that I wasn’t having the pain until I remembered that I used to have serious pain!! This is huge, and probably contributing to the better sleep at night.

So, even though I was a total skeptic and naysayer when I first heard about Plexus, I am now a believer. I did sign up last month for the discount, but by sharing my success with a few people, I have been able to share the secret to my success with a couple of friends and now they are having awesome results, too!

The funny thing is that my little sister was the one to tell me about Plexus, and of course, I ignored it for months. She ended up getting pregnant, so she stopped taking hers pretty early on, but kept telling me that it could be something that might help me. Once she saw my 30 day results, she ran to her OB (23 weeks pregnant) to see if she could safely take the products while pregnant. With the doctor’s blessing, she began taking the products a month ago, and as of yesterday, she has lost 10 pounds and 16.75″, all while progressing to 27 weeks pregnant with my niece! The baby is still growing and happy, and she is shrinking in the process. She isn’t feeling the horrible swelling and bloat after her 12-hour shifts as a nurse, so that is a huge win!

So, that is my tale. I am super happy with my results in the past 60 days, so I will keep this going. The energy and productivity I have every day is seriously something I have never had. I don’t procrastinate anymore, and I can get a ton done without feeling like I need a nap. The awesome thing is that it never feels like jittery energy – I am just awake, fully, for the first time, maybe ever.

If you want to learn more about these amazing products, you can check out my website HERE. It has great information about what each product does. They are all natural, so that makes me feel better.

My current products:

  • Plexus Slim
  • ProBio5
  • BioCleanse (Slim, ProBio5, and BioCleanse are called the Triplex and is the key to improving gut health!)
  • X-Factor multi-vitamin (seriously the greatest vitamin ever!)
  • Body Cream – this stuff is amazing, especially in softening my crazy dry, cracked heels. It also works wonders on stretch marks.
  • Fast Relief Capsules and Cream (now called Ease) – as needed

In the next month, I am adding Block to my regiment. More updates at 90 days! I am thrilled to be getting healthy from the inside out! If you want to learn more about how I am getting healthy and saving myself FROM MYSELF, please feel free to contact me at

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The Feels! Yuck!

OH! The Feels!

OH! The Feels!

Over the past month or so, I have been incredibly productive. None of that earns me any money, but I feel good about getting things done. As most of you know, before this blog, I wrote for over a year on a divorce blog. I chronicled our relationship and it’s nosedive into oblivion. I have been meaning to turn this into a book for years, but never really got around to getting it out of blog format and into a manuscript.

Well, a few weeks ago, a friend of mine (who is about to publish her first book!!) asked me about the progress of my book and it prompted me to get it into the right formatting. I didn’t think it would take that long. Hell, 90% of it is already there. It just needed a little editing.

Like two days of editing. I had sixty pages when I started, just copied and pasted from the original blog posts. It is now covered with hand written notes. Over the weekend, I found the correct template and started rewriting the book, based on the original stories and the edits. This is what Stephen King told me to do. He was very specific. Write your book – put it away. Edit your book – put it away. REWRITE your book. I mean he told me this through his book, On Writing, which I read last year (and put it away). So that is what I have been doing.

Turns out, the edits and rewrites have really beefed things up! From the first four or five of the original pages, I now have 26 pages of a manuscript written. Crazy!

But, something happened that I did not expect. The Feels. Oh lord, was I not expecting the feels. I have read my own blog numerous times and always found how I laid things out to be funny. But going in and making it into a book, not just some quick post with the highlights – That is bringing up some major emotion. Mostly pain in my heart for the girl I used to be, but there is also some anger towards my ex, for sure. But, if I am being totally honest here – a lot of it is embarrassment, humiliation, and self-shaming for allowing myself to get into that situation and to put up with it for so damn long! I am not an idiot, but writing it all down sure does make me look (and feel) like one!

And that hit me hard – that is absolutely the reason that I started writing in the first place. Not for me, but for the many other people (applies to both men and women; I’m not into male bashing) who have gotten themselves into these same situations and have no idea how to get out of them! I am NOT an advocate for divorce. Going through mine was seriously one of the most painful times of my life. I never got married with the intention of getting a divorce one day, but at some point you do have to realize that your happiness matters just as much as anyone else’s. Sometimes, we make a bad choice, and force relationships that weren’t meant to be.  Sometimes, we just ignore the worst in others and pretend it will be all be fine through the power of our love! No, it won’t. If they tell you they are broken – believe them. You will not be able to fix them. Likewise, if you are broken, no one can fix you but you. Jumping head first into a situation like that just causes resentment and misery down the road.

And I am grateful. Incredibly grateful to the friends who helped me see the light – that I was meant for more than this. I am incredibly happy that I went through the pain to find happiness at the other end of the misery. I am grateful to my second (and FINAL!) husband, Paul, who loves me like crazy and who is also understanding of WHY I need to write about this time in my life and is completely supportive. He knows what I know – that other people NEED this kind of book to know the following things:

  1. You are not alone. Many people are in a bad situation and need a way out. My ex really made me feel like it was just me. But it wasn’t.
  2. Laughter really is the best medicine. I could look back over my marriage and be extremely bitter (and for a while, I was), OR I can choose to laugh at the situation because it is behind me now.
  3. In order for you to be happy, someone else may not be happy. You need to accept this and move on, because you are not responsible for someone else’s happiness! The only thing you can control is yourself. They will try to blame you for their misery, but you just have to ignore that line of bull and move forward.

So, while all the feels are coming up, the writing is incredibly cathartic. And I really hope that I can somehow get this book published. And I really hope that you people will buy it, so that I can write MORE hilariously real books. There’s not an ounce of fiction here. I am not that talented. I write about real life with a funny spin.

Carrie Fisher, in her book Wishful Drinking, said, “If my life wasn’t funny, it would just be true. And that is unacceptable.” I agree wholeheartedly, Carrie!

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30 Days of Plexus – My take

About a year ago, my sister’s neighbor Mary mentioned to us that she was taking some kind of supplements called Plexus. I had never heard of them, but I have been approached over the years by every kind of MLM (multilevel marketing) company you can imagine. I also have a bunch of weirdo allergies, so I typically can’t take any kind of things like that. So, I dismissed it.

After Thanksgiving, my sister decided to give it a try, hoping to get herself a little healthier before getting pregnant. She mentioned to me that she liked the products. They gave her a little more energy but didn’t make her feel jittery. But, she ended up pregnant a short time later, so she didn’t get to take them too long. But, she did sign up as an Ambassador for the discount, because discount!

As I posted yesterday, my health hasn’t been great for a while now. Everything has been out of balance. I have lost over 60 pounds from my highest weight, but I have been stuck around the same place for a long time, mostly because I believe my metabolism has shut down completely to compensate for all the illness. Around the beginning of May, I decided that it might be worth trying out this Plexus stuff to see if it could help me at all. I mean, how much worse could it be than what was already happening, right? My sister bought me my first product to try, a 30-day supply of Plexus Slim. After a 5-day stay in the hospital at the end of May, I decided that I would start it immediately.

Yesterday was my 30th day on the product. I took it every day, with the exception of two days in the hospital last week. That’s awesome for me, because consistency really isn’t my thing. But, I really wanted to make sure I was giving it a fair shot. Yes, I wanted to lose weight, but I knew that before I could actually LOSE weight, I needed to get my body healthier and get my metabolism working again.

My current Plexus stash of goodies

My current Plexus stash of goodies

As of today, I haven’t lost any weight yet, BUT I have had some crazy awesome results that I absolutely didn’t expect. I am going to share those now, so bear with me!

  1. The first day on the product, I had a CRAZY amount of energy. It wasn’t jittery or manic energy, though. I just felt awake. Like REALLY awake for the first time in a long time. I got so much done, it was a little scary.
  2. I started sleeping better at night. I didn’t have a really bad time sleeping before, but it would take me forever to fall asleep. Now, I lay down and I am out. And I sleep HARD. I wake up feeling rested, which has never really been a thing for me.
  3. By Day 7, I realized that I wasn’t smoking as much as I normally did. I didn’t plan to try to quit smoking. Hell, starting one thing is hard enough without putting on all that pressure. But, my normal 10-15 cigarettes a day suddenly went down to 3-5 a day without even trying. That has been a huge thing I didn’t anticipate. After 30 days, I am down to 2-3, and usually I only smoke if I happen to get bored and stuck on the phone (a habit I have had for years). I think that I will be able to stop all together in the very foreseeable future.
  4. My fasting blood sugars have been more consistent. They aren’t perfect, or ready to go off all my diabetic medication, but they are staying closer to the same range on a daily basis. No massive swings, which is really what causes the most damage in your body. Apparently, the Plexus products were originally designed to help control blood sugar. The weight loss was a side effect.
  5. I suffer from really bad anxiety. Like most of the time. I noticed that the number of anxious days I had really decreased dramatically during the past 30 days. And the days I did have anxiety, I was mostly able to get it under control before it got to the state of panic. Before Plexus, I had no warnings. Just straight to abject terror. This change is HUGE for me, because anxiety really was dictating every moment of my life before.
  6. In that vein, I have been out of the house, more active, and more social in the past 30 days than I have in the past three months! I really am not stressing about going out anymore. This pleases me greatly.
  7. I have had some issues with eczema on my face for the past 11 years. I’m talking blotchy-red and flaky skin, mostly around my nose and forehead. I realized about a week ago that it is completely gone! No flaky skin. No blotches! I’m not Snow White or anything, but not having flaky icky skin all the time makes me feel a million times better. Especially for a girl who rarely ever wears makeup!
  8. I mentioned yesterday, and anyone with PCOS knows that excessive facial hair comes with the disorder and is most unpleasant. While I still am dealing with this, the growth rate has decreased drastically. So yay to not looking like a billy-goat!!
  9. I am drinking a lot more water. Water has always been an issue for me. I’m not as consistent with it as I should be, but I am working on it every day. This is a big part of my goals for the next 30 days.
  10. I have also been much better at taking my daily medications, which I would tend to forget about for days at a time before. Being on a consistent schedule with my Slim has caused me to remember to take everything else.
  11. I had to go to the hospital last week due to some anxiety and blood pressure issues. What I found when I got there was that my blood pressure was actually LOW for a change! Usually, it is through the roof! After talking to the Cardiologist and telling him that I was taking the Slim along with my blood pressure medication, he suggested that I cut back to half of my blood pressure meds!! In less than 30 days, I am already cutting down on meds!! Crazy!
  12. My productivity level during the day has been so amazing that I can hardly believe it! Yesterday, I got so much done and had to actually stop myself to remember to eat and to cut out for the day.

So, anyway, that is my first 30 days on the plan. I am currently taking the Plexus Slim (one drink per day – no meal replacement) and X-factor vitamins. This next 30 days, I am going to be adding in the ProBio5 and BioCleanse to get my gut health in order, since the majority of our immune system is in our gut.

So, if you are interested in learning more or getting a sample, click HERE. You can also contact me directly. I am not a paid spokesperson for this company, BTW. Just a Self Saving Princess trying to get her life back in order! I’m happy to talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly.

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