Dear Baby Jesus in the Hay: Thank you for stupid people; without whom I would have nothing to write. Love, Liz
It has been one of those days. I woke up at 5:30 am this morning totally awake for no reason at all. Suck it, Ambien. I wanted my full night’s sleep. Since I couldn’t get back to sleep, I decided to get up and be productive. I should have worked out, but the thought never crossed my mind. I decided to get a jump on my laundry, because what crazy person does their laundry at 6 am? This girl right here. I used 2 out of 3 washers. I wonder why we have 3 washers and 4 dryers. Like the installer couldn’t count or something.
Anyway, I go out to change the clothes over to the dryer and I notice that I apparently forgot to start one of the washers. FML So, laundry took longer than it could have.
Today is Tuesday, which means it is Therapy day. It also means that I get out on the freeway with a bunch of morons. Since I moved into The Loop (ooh la la!), and subsequently to the Galleria area, I can pretty well get most places I need to go without getting on the freeway. I still can’t believe I used to commute more than 50 miles every day. Sheesh.
I decided to stop at Whataburger and grab a grilled chicken sandwich, and while I was waiting this guy comes in who apparently had the plague. He is hacking and coughing that really wet, juicy cough. Not even bothering to cover his mouth. Check, please! I’m not even a germaphobe, but that business there made me want to run to the nearest decontamination shower. *shudder*
After therapy was a quick trip to the grocery store. I hate grocery stores after work hours. People are such assholes. Probably because they are hungry. Or a dingo ate their baby, or some other nonsense. I was trying to exit the lane when some guy, fully seeing me in the lane, decides to back out in front of me. Douche. I know your car is way nicer than mine, but I drive a tank. Your fiberglass wind up car wouldn’t stand a chance. Never mess with Betty Lou (aka my 18-year-old Lincoln Town Car).
Cursing these idiots got me thinking about other things that annoy me. In this case, though, it is more the things we were told as children, which never came to pass:
- Where the hell is my flying car?? As a kid, we were told that we would totally have flying cars by now. Some people have pointed out how much WORSE the drivers would be if they were flying. Killjoys.
- Colony on the Moon. Come on, people. How can we shut down our awesome space program before we have opened a HoJo’s on the moon?? It has been over 40 years since Man landed on the moon. We can’t get some kind of lake house on the Sea of Tranquility??
- Made up words that people use constantly: Supposably; Irregardless; Old Timers Disease, etc. I also hate phrases like: Wha’ had happen was… *junkpunch*
- The Peeing Mantis – My arch nemesis from The Company. This is the disgusting woman who squats when she pees, thereby marking the toilet for the next unsuspecting victim. My mother, who is a wonderfully talented artist, drew me a rendition of the Peeing Mantis, and I think it is fabulous.
- And finally, people who love my blog, but refuse to comment… Just kidding. Mostly. Seriously – send me a comment about things that bother you the most and the most creative will win an art print from my photography business (www.elizabethblessittphotography.com)
- Accidentally posting a rant email to a professional site. Oops! Guess I fall into the stupid category too. I blame it on the lack of sleep. Yeah, that sounds right.
Whew… I feel better now. But, I still want to hear from you! It might just make it into my next book!