Two years ago today, I felt weird. Not terrible. Just off. It really wasn’t any worse than I had felt so many times before when I ended up in the ER. So, off we went, in the middle of the night to the ER. Again. Surely, they would give me something for anxiety and send me home.
Not this time.
This time, they wanted to keep me overnight. Ok, no biggie. This had happened dozens of times over the last few years. They sent Paul home, and I waited. They didn’t have a room for me yet, so they set me aside in the ER and had a nurse watch over me. I didn’t really think anything about it until I woke up and realized they had moved me to the ICU.
That was new. In all my trips to the hospital, I had never been to ICU.
Turns out, I had a small heart attack. Yep. 35 years old and I had a heart attack. After doing very expensive, invasive testing that I couldn’t afford, they determined that I didn’t have any damage or signs of heart disease. No, this heart attack was due 100% to stress. Long-term, emotional stress. Bah!
Now, it has been two years, and I have done everything possible to cut emotional stress out of my life. I gave up working full-time, since my previous job made me want to jump out of a window on a daily basis. I stopped allowing situations (and people) to make me crazy. It just wasn’t worth it. I have lost a bunch of weight since then, and mainly tried to focus on my health.
And I’m still here, bitches! To those who have tried to cause me grief (namely The Frog), I took away your power. I learned to forgive those whom I had deemed unforgivable. Because they aren’t worth wasting my life over. Paul and I never fight, mostly because I have determined that there aren’t a lot of things worth fighting over. Sure, we get snippy from time to time. We are human. But it isn’t worth all of the drama. I have eliminated those from my life who were too stressful to stand (including some family members). In the end, you have to take care of you!
So on this, the second anniversary of my broken heart, I say that I am completely healed. When I ended up in the hospital again (medical mystery SOLVED after 10 years!!) in August, they checked me out and the cardiologist said that my heart “is the picture of perfection.” I will take that as a giant win, considering all of the damage I have done to myself over my lifetime.
And if anyone wants to start some drama – I’ll send this little punk over to kick your ass.